From a young age, I thought and felt deeply but often felt that I didn’t "get it", was too slow or sensitive. I reached for many of the unhealthy behaviours that promise short term comfort. Struggling to "just get on with it" I went through many different jobs—from NHS psychology work to gardening.

At age 45, I learned I was neurodivergent. Things started to make sense. I learned about executive functions coaching, hoping to find solutions for the disablement. However, I found it difficult to actually do the things that are necessary to build the neural pathways.

I learned that negative emotions, stress, exhaustion and self criticism impedes executive functioning. Developing enough self compassion to be able to honour my needs, and enough awareness in the moment to be able to determine what the needs are, brought me to a place of being able to regulate myself more effectively.

Courage to honour my sensitivity (its not weakness) my strengths (its not selfish or big headed), and my need for safeness in community and connection (involves accepting vulnerability) came as I found others with differences like mine showing up with authenticity and courage.

I finally understood that the goal is to keep the different parts working well together, to be regulated and therefore give my executive functions the best chance to do life’s tasks.

As well as adjusting my state I learned to adjust the task and the environment where options are available, rather than pushing through with a “should” mindset.

It is my pleasure to accompany fellow ADHDers and people struggling to make healthy choices on their journey towards the regulation and functioning that improves wellbeing in all areas of life.